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Rhymes With Loretta EP

by Velvetta

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ahgra Whether your tastes lean toward hardcore honky tonk or countrypolitan, Velvetta will satisfy your musical needs! (And they've got a tape deck in their tractor....) Buy this record! Favorite track: Mornin' Bartender (Explicit).
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1.
Ol’ Jacob Waltz was a miner Out Apache Junction Way They say he found a gold mine While ridin’ out one day He headed into town His saddlebags filled with gold ‘Where’d you stake your claim,’ they cried / The old man never told You can search and search and pray that you might find The hidden treasures of the lost Dutchman’s mine And even if you find it you’ll never live to tell The Superstition Mountain winds will blow you straight to hell A thousand paces West of the Weaver's needle With the sun on the left playing tricks on your eyes At the peak of the day,'neath the circling buzzards You may find what you want but you'll pay with your life So if you’re lookin’ to strike it rich Some quick or easy way If you happen to find that mine There’d be hell to pay You’d bring on the curse and have Only yourself to blame (For the lost Dutchman’s ghost still rides) Still searchin for his claim
2.
You don’t have to take me out to a fancy cocktail bar You don’t have to tell me you’re somethin’ more that what you are You don’t have to do any of that to show me that you care All you gotta do is run your fingers through my hair You don’t pledge your love each and every day You don’t have to tell me all those things that lovers say You don’t have to do any of that to make me understand All you gotta do is smile and take my hand Just do those little things that mean so very much Like the way you softly sigh each we touch It’s in all those little things that you say and do That keeps my heart a poundin’ and keep me lovin’ you Those little things (those little things) That mean so much (that mean so much) Those little things (those little things) Each time we touch (that mean so much) You don’t get me a great big diamond ring You don’t have to write pretty songs for me to sing You don’t have to grandstand and put on a great big show All you gotta do is wink and let me know we both know this is the end, we kissed our last goodbye
3.
We both know this is the end we’ve kissed our last goodbye ever since you walked away all i can do is cry yes it's true i can’t have you you don’t belong to me and though it's gonna wreck me i've got to set you free When I have to leave again my heart will surely bust into a million pieces that float away like dust and when the wind has changed its course and blows the other way i'll spread myself out on it and fly back to you to stay If each teardrop was a star up in the Milky way I'd wish on every one of them you never had gone astray When you walk back thru my door, I won’t beg you to stay Say that you'll stay long enough to kiss my tears away In a world that's different than the one we know every time we say goodbye I'd come back to say hello In that pretty place and on that one fine day we will be together with no tears to kiss away
4.
Mornin’ bartender I’m back again today To try and drink these memories away Now tell me bartender which will kill me quicker The heartache or the liquor All I can do is drown in my own misery All I can think is poor me, poor me Pour me a Boiler Maker and a Bloody Mary, Sake Bomb and a Vodka cranberry, Harvey Wallbanger and a Gin and Juice, Cowboy Cocksucker and a Shot of Chartreuse Mint Julep and a Rusty Nail Chase that back with a cold Champale I’ll just be here thinkin poor me Pour me a Colt 45 and a Rob Roy, A Maker’s Manhattan and a Cabin Boy Blue Blazer and a Salty Dog Broken Spur and a Navy Grog Vodka Stinger and a Velvet Hammer Chase that back with an Alabama Slammer I’ll just be here thinkin’ poor me Pour me a Mai Tai and a Dry Martini A Fog Cutter and a Peach Bellini Moscow Mule and a Slim Shady Painkiller and a Pink Lady Shot of Cuervo and a Hurricane Chase that back with some French Champagne I’ll just be here thinkin’ poor me
5.
Mornin’ bartender I’m back again today To try and drink these memories away Now tell me bartender which will kill me quicker The heartache or the liquor All I can do is drown in my own misery All I can think is poor me, poor me Pour me a Boiler Maker and a Bloody Mary, Sake Bomb and a Vodka cranberry, Harvey Wallbanger and a Gin and Juice, Brandy Alexander and a Shot of Chartreuse Mint Julep and a Rusty Nail Chase that back with a cold Champale I’ll just be here thinkin poor me Pour me a Colt 45 and a Rob Roy, A Maker’s Manhattan and a Cabin Boy Blue Blazer and a Salty Dog Broken Spur and a Navy Grog Vodka Stinger and a Velvet Hammer Chase that back with an Alabama Slammer I’ll just be here thinkin’ poor me Pour me a Mai Tai and a Dry Martini A Fog Cutter and a Peach Bellini Moscow Mule and a Slim Shady Painkiller and a Pink Lady Shot of Cuervo and a Hurricane Chase that back with some French Champagne I’ll just be here thinkin’ poor me

credits

released August 1, 2020

VELVETTA EP CREDITS

Velvetta “Rhymes with Loretta”

LEIGH CROW-VOCALS
RUBY VIXEN (Tina Sogliuzzo)-VOCALS
JEN GANDY-ACOUSTIC AND ELECTRIC GUITARS AND VOCALS
STONEY LONESOME-ACOUSTIC, ELECTRIC AND BARITONE GUITARS, MANDOLIN AND VOCALS
TIM PERDUE-BASS
DANE “DOC” WHITAKER-DRUMS

Additional musicians:
Jill Rogers Harmony Vocals
Myles Boisen Steel and Electric Guitars, Theremin, Vocals, Clinking glasses etc.

Recorded, produced and mastered by Myles Boisen at Guerrilla Recording
All arrangements by Velvetta

Thank you;
Ryann Donahoo
Peter Fogel
John Ashfeild
The Riptide
Arden Wong
Birdie Bob Watt
Mighty Slim Pickins
Chris Wood
Sean Clem
Bobby Taylor
T. Paul Jr.
Les James
Gina Schock
Dave Sogliuzzo

Cover Art by David Lawrence Hawkins
Logo Art by Leigh Crow
Track Image Art by Ruby Vixen

copyright 2020 Flatcracker Publishing

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Velvetta San Francisco, California

Fronted by a couple of well-dressed crooners and backed by a 4 piece band of well-worn players, Velvetta is a bonafide country outfit. Less like a bar band and more like honky tonk dinner theater, Velvetta stirs a motley stew of country covers and originals spanning every country sub-genre. Formed in 2014, Velvetta has since built a steady following due in part to their rambunctious live shows. ... more

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